Monday, April 18, 2011

From One to Another

Dear Co-blogger,

Today I find myself willingly surrendered in the wide flung arms of procrastination. As I write this to you, I am cradled in the warm and loving embrace of my bed, nesting with my 5 pillows, 1 body pillow, and three stuffed animals: Blacky, Fluffy, and the head of that Moose you killed last week. In the throes of boredom, I suspiciously find myself writing notes to you on loose leaf paper at 3 in the morning, but today I decided to do something more permanent. Here's one for the textbooks, my lonely comrade, the summary of my day:

I missed my first class because I was having one of those rodeo dreams I always tell you about. And as usual I woke up tied to my bed with that lasso I bought off ebay. I'm not complaining, I mean those dreams are better than real life, but it takes me a good 20 minutes to undo.

I left my house with my hair down because I feel oddly liberated when it's blowing in the wind. Halfway through the day, and a half day later than everyone else, I felt bored with myself. Ready to reinvent myself I went to the bathroom, put my hair up and left a new woman.

My shoelace was untied today and someone was nice enough to tell me. I looked down and then he flicked me in nose. But I still think it was a kind gesture, after all tripping in public would have been worse than the nose flick, but then he tripped me. But at least someone noticed me. I think it was the deep blue eyeshadow I wore today. It's very elegant.

 You know what, forget it. My day sucked. Speaking of sucking, I can tell you about my love life. I seem to have misplaced it. I know you have some troubles in that department as well, so I just wanted to make sure that you knew you could talk to me about it whenever you want, I'm pretty good at giving advice, as someone who has a lot of experience under my belt concerning issues below the belt...I've seen a lot of Grey's Anatomy.

Anyways, I overheard someone talking about you in the library today. Don't worry I haven't noticed any of the weight they said you've gained. I also saw another girl wearing Uggs too, don't worry I'm sure everyone knows you got them first, yours are in much worse condition. Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery....I guess rape is the least sincere.

Did you know I almost wore a skirt today?

Love,
Disgruntled.

2 comments:

  1. You still have blacky? I thought I ripped his head off.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very elegant sign off i.e. quote of the day:

    Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery....I guess rape is the least sincere.

    ReplyDelete