This is how I dance not how I attract men

Dancing is an attitude.

No we don't all have the grace of a gazelle, or the passionate hip shaking talent of Shakira, but skillfully or not, we all attempt to express ourselves by moving our bodies, booties, etc. Whether or not this expression is of a violent nature leaving spectators in a position of harm, it's real, it's necessary, it's dancing. 

Vertical dry humping, otherwise known as grinding, has become synonymous with dancing to our generation. But lets be honest moving your hips from side to side in a squatted position for who knows how long, where your only exit strategy is waiting till one of your girlfriends starts dancing with an ugly dude and you are required to save them, hurts. Its so hard to keep a beat so eventually it just devolves into you doing a head bang in a squat and not moving your hips at all, while the person you are grinding with is still holding on. Then comes the thrashing, their grip tightens, "I Want To Break Free" by Queen starts playing in your head, now you're dancing to the beat of two songs, you wonder if your schizo, your partner wonders if this is what automated bull-riding feels like. 

It's the very worst when you get off beat with your "dancing" partner. You instantaneously become two puzzle pieces that don't fit, no matter how hard you try to force it, wiggle or squirm. You don't belong, everything feels wrong. You start to awkwardly laugh, as if it this misunderstanding between your bodies is cute, or funny, but really youre crying inside. "Why can't I make this work for even the 3 minute duration of this song?!...Will I always be alone? " That was an example of internal monologue we all experience. The human condition.

This doesn't happen to everyone, some people who have strong knees and muscular thighs are able to maintain a slow and sexy grind. They make it look so easy. Their hair is flowing as if it too is dancing, every strand, ever tendril...perfect. Most importantly they are not choking their partner with a mouthful of hair.

But for the rest of us dancing is an art form we just can't seem to master. It consist of bopping, flailing, lunging, and awkwardly jutting. We accept that we can't keep the beat even to a metronome, but we remain hopeful that one day we will find our equally lost puzzle piece.

One day we will all find UNITY on the dance floor.